Those Phrases shared by A Dad Which Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"In my view I was simply in survival mode for twelve months."

One-time reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

However the truth soon proved to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Severe health issues around the birth resulted in his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her primary caregiver as well as caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I took on every night time, every nappy change… each outing. The job of mother and father," Ryan stated.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. It was a chat with his own dad, on a park bench, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The direct phrases "You're not in a healthy space. You must get some help. What can I do to help you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and start recovering.

His story is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. While society is now more accustomed to talking about the strain on mothers and about postpartum depression, less is said about the struggles dads go through.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan believes his challenges are symptomatic of a larger reluctance to open up between men, who often absorb negative perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets hit and doesn't fall time and again."

"It's not a sign of failure to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, says men often don't want to admit they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental well-being is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the opportunity to request a respite - spending a couple of days away, away from the family home, to see things clearly.

He understood he needed to make a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings alongside the practical tasks of caring for a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she needed" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan sees fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he wishes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son to better grasp the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his parenting choices.

The concept of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen was without consistent male parenting. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences caused his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says suppressing emotions caused him to make "terrible decisions" when he was younger to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as an escape from the hurt.

"You find your way to substances that aren't helpful," he notes. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Advice for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a family member, your partner or a professional about your state of mind. This can to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like yourself before having a baby. Examples include playing sport, socialising or playing video games.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - eating well, getting some exercise and when you can, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mind is coping.
• Meet other first-time fathers - listening to their stories, the difficult parts, and also the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that requesting help isn't failing - looking after your own well-being is the best way you can care for your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the death, having been out of touch with him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead offer the stability and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they practise "shaking it out" together - expressing the frustrations safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become more balanced, healthier men since they acknowledged their issues, altered how they communicate, and taught themselves to control themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… dealing with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a letter to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, at times I feel like my job is to teach and advise you how to behave, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning as much as you are in this journey."